Mount Hebra Times

In what may be a shock to our religious readers, a mysterious scroll indicates that the Goddess of Time may be none other than our own Tingle. The scroll was found by a thief in the Desert of Mystery and sold to the Mount Hebra Times for a high price. The authentication process is ongoing, but Sam Dragmire, Professor of Anti-Religious Studies at Castle Town University assures us that the document is ‘probably real’.

“I wouldn’t put anything past the Sanctuary. They probably knew this cringe dogma was a belief of the ancient Hylians and hid it!” Dragmire expertly states.

When asked for comment, the Priest John Worship allowed his tired, reactionary, religious objections to the text to overwhelm his emotions. It’s clear that he was speaking with pure consternation against the truth when he said, “You bought it from a known thief and con artist. I think you’ve been had.”

After growing weary of hearing the Sanctuary’s lies, we went straight to the Fairy’s mouth. Tingle, the Goddess himself, says of the scrolls, “I am the very reincarnation of a fairy. In my heart, I also felt that I was a Great Fairy and not just a regular fairy. Perhaps I was also a Goddess in how I rained down blessings upon everyone.”

At the time of publication, Sanctuary has yet to add an image of Tingle to the Goddess of Time altar.