Mushroom Collectors Should Unionize
Mushroom collectors are the first line of defense when it comes to health ailments and the need for magical powders. We should be fairly compensated, and we should not have to worry about getting lost and turned into a Stalfos! Collectors of the world, rise up!
Entrenched interests like ‘Big Potion Shop’ want us to remain divided, but we can’t. We have to stand strong as a cohesive unit against the injustices that we face. How many times have you heard about someone getting lost in the Lost Woods? Once? Twice? How many times is too many before we stand up and say ‘No More!’
What our group, Collectors Against Unsafe Lifestyles Diminishing Real-World Outcomes Now (or CAULDRON), is doing is petitioning the King to give us legal representation as a group. We’re asking for hazard pay, and we’re also asking that two Mushroom Collectors be deployed on any dangerous mission like the Lost Woods or dark caves.
If His Majesty ratifies our petition, a vote will be held. It’s important that you, the Mushroom Collectors of the world, vote ‘Yes’! The witches who brew the potions clearly don’t care if we live or die, and this is just us caring about ourselves! With hard work and control of our destinies, we’ll never lose another person to Stalfosization or a 600 foot deep dark cavern hole.
CAULDRON is boiling over, and it’s time to get the brew out of the pot.