Mount Hebra Times

Hey! Listen, Mr. “I’m Going to Stick You in a Bottle For Two Weeks In Case A Three-Headed Firebreathing Dragon Kills Me.” We, the Fairy people, are tired of your shenaningans. You come into our fountains, our homes, our communities, and we have to flee. The (so-called) Great Fairies have turned a blind eye to your antics on the presupposition that you are a Hero. Heroes get to kidnap people because everything they do is good. To put it mildly, we disagree.

But it’s not just ‘heroes’ who engage in the despicable practice of bottling fairies. Many Hyruleans use bottling a fairy as a quick-fix for reckless behavior. Are you traveling unarmed through a heavily dangerous area? Bottled fairy. Have you decided to start raising undead horses on your ranch? Bottled fairy. Are you going skydiving but you forgot to pack your sailcloth? Bottled fairy. Hyruleans often exploit the kindness of fairies to bail them out of dangerous situations which they themselves create!

I’m writing this article to spread the word on our plight. Some fairies want to go with you in a bottle on your journey, but not all do. Did you ever stop to think that you should ask a fairy if it wants to be in your bottle? If the fairy is running away from you when you try to catch it, that’s an indication that they have something else to do. Since most Hyruleans can’t speak our native tongue, it’s recommended that you only catch fairies which fly to you. Alternatively, you can just play it safe and buy Potions.

Together, we can build a better world in which people from all species live together harmoniously. A big step toward that end is to stop this engaging in this practice and to call it out when you see it!