Mount Hebra Times

A new rule from the Royal Committee on Home Safety states that puzzle locks cannot be included in newly constructed homes. Puzzle locks, a method of locking doors with block puzzles or unlit torches, is a staple of Hyrulean culture.

"It's nothing but Big Safety trying to tell us how to live our lives!" quips Lasella Bowenbridge, a traditionalist homeowner. "When I was a kid, I loved lighting the torches to unlock my room. It's a joy that's been known to countless Hylians across countless generations, and now, they're trying to get rid of it. The next thing you know they'll be targeting our Rupee filled vases because of the 'crime wave'. Sheesh!"

Construction workers however, are glad to see puzzle locks go. According to Garrison Garrison, an employee of Hudson Construction, this news will make his job easier. "Everyone thinks they want puzzle locks, but 2 ton blocks are really hard to move by yourself." he says. "Most people don't even use the locked rooms with setups like those. The only people who ever push those blocks is us!"

We reached out to the Royal Committee on Home Safety, and a spokesman said that the rule doesn't go into effect until next year. So if you want a puzzle lock in your new home, maybe it's time to reach out to someone whose name ends in 'son'.